The Right Age To Marry

Brown girls have 99 problems. One of their biggest discomforts is being judged on petty things. Everybody is eyeing the girl and she knows she is being noticed by even those she doesn’t know about. Beauty standards, clothes checklist, required skills and all the disciplines are told and taught to her since childhood. As a brown girl grows, her tensions grow along. Tensions of perfect skin, perfect body, perfect character and a perfect age to marry. All the girls I know are tired of the talks about “the right age to marry”. The right age is technically a nonsense thing but socially it’s a pre-requisite for marriage.

Since I stepped into my 20s, I’m flooded with the blood-sucking talks of marriage and marriageable age and what would make me a good bride and a good wife. I know that I am presented as the best product of the family that will further decorate my would-be family. My features, guarantee and warranty must be overly exaggerated to others to make sure they realize what they would miss on if they don’t take me as their BAHU.

The day I crossed 23, I saw the stress on my father’s face as he wished me a happy birthday because when he was saying “happy birthday”, in his head he was counting “happy TWENTY-THIRD birthday”. I know this. I was sure he’s now worried about my uncontrollable ageing and how he needs to find a boy for me as soon as possible because- “the right age to marry”. With all the disappointment, worries and latent happiness I heard “happy birthday” which I assume would actually be “no right age to marry now but still happy birthday to you”. *Laughs it off*

It was my cousin's wedding. I hated going to weddings or parties for the same talks of marriage. This is all sickening. It’s better to stay with your pet at home and eat in your pyjamas than taking an hour to get dressed to listen to things you don’t want to. More than half the faces were new to me. I hate you already. At the wedding, a girl 10 years younger said to me “you know you should marry now. She is also marrying but her face.... she looks so dull. You still have a pretty face so you marry soon.” WTF she just said!! She’s hardly 15 years old and saying all of it. I just didn’t know what was worse- her, telling me about my right age to marry or her, saying things like this?

The Conclusion:

THIS WILL HAPPEN. Make peace with it. The sooner you accept, the less it will irritate. Nobody around has got any better thing to do than poking. What best we can do is let the people around us behave like fools and while they are at their best (annoying) selves, we’ll be at our happy selves. You do you because it’s never going to end. Cheers to being brave EVERY DAY!!